A brief encounter in a Las Vegas Buffet Line

Fujifilm XT30 | 18-55mm | Las Vegas, NV 2023

For reasons I may never understand people find me approachable. It doesn’t take much. Typically, anyone within a 3-4 foot radius of me finds it necessary to discuss whatever is on their mind. I can’t go to the grocery store without someone venting to me about the price of eggs. I’ll be shopping for something and someone will ask me if I ever had a specific brand of chips.  I’m a lighting rod for small talk and anecdotes. There’s just something about me that communicates “talk to me”. I find this funny because, for all intents and purposes, I try to limit human interaction as much as possible. I generally don’t like talking to strangers. I don’t identify as an introvert. I like being around people…well certain people. Maybe I am an introvert. 

One situation always sticks out to me. I was in Vegas a few years ago. 2014 to be exact. My wife and I were only dating at the time. We flew up on a red eye to meet up with her cousins who had planned the trip the prior year. 

On our second night in Vegas, we were trying to figure out a place to eat. I floated the idea of eating at the paradise buffet. The restaurant was featured in the 90’s indie classic “Swingers” which had an impact on me in my 20’s. This was back when I thought I was going to be a write/director. The buffet was fine. It was good, not great. One person in our group called it “aggressively mediocre”. I didn’t mind it though. I was more into the idea of eating a place that was in one of my favorite movies. It was also the first time I had eaten crawfish. 

After eating my weight in crawfish and crab legs I made my way to the dessert section. I wasn’t initially impressed with the spread. Everything had that hospital food aesthetic. I tend to spend an inordinate amount of time deciding on what to eat. One of my biggest fears is making the wrong decision, especially when it comes to food. After much deliberation, I had arrived at a decision. I landed on a piece of pie. Its filling to dough ratio was best in class for its type of dessert. It was a decent size as well.  Small enough to eat within a few bites but also big enough to eliminate the need for a second treat. The apple pie was perfect for the situation I was in. 

As I’m making my way back to the table, ready to regale my wife and her family with the harrowing journey that was me getting this perfect piece of pie, a man shoots towards me and says “Why don’t you let me get that one and you can have this one”. He does this while also attempting to hand me a piece of pie in his hand. 

I looked at the piece of pie he was presenting me. It’s all wrong. There’s too much filling. The piece is far too large.  It’s also a completely different flavor of pie. Worst of all, this piece is entirely too close to his right thumb.  I’m taken aback trying to process why and how this person would think it is appropriate to barter at a buffet. Especially with his thumb so close to what he’s offering. 

The smart thing would have been to gently but firmly tell the man no and go about my business.  I was so confounded by the situation that I just couldn’t let it go. I needed to understand why this was happening to me. I needed to understand this person on a cerebral level. 

“Why do you want this one?” I asked, “This is different than the one you have.”

“I don’t want this one anymore,” he said. 

“Yeah, but this is different than the one you have?”

“I don’t mind” 

“Well, I do.” I fire back. 

“Here just take this one and I’ll grab that one. Even trade” he says, advancing towards me. 

I took a step back guarding my precious dessert. 

“What about that one right there?” I ask, pointing to another larger piece of apple pie. 

“That one’s too big” he says, “The one you have in your hand will be perfect”. 

I was finding myself less and less interested in unpacking this person’s personality as the conversation went on. I tell the man that the situation he has found himself in feels like a personal problem. I wish him the best. 

I made my way back to our table only to find everybody getting up. They asked me what took so long. I tell them about the dessert bar, the apple pie, and the man. They feel bad enough for me to let me sit down and eat the pie. I didn’t even enjoy it.